i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
