He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
