Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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