bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
