Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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