cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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