Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
