does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
