So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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