I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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