Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
