i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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