my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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