1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
