Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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