its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
