there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
