I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
