Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
