I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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