Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
