Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
