so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
