you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
