Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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