yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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