She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
