Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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