some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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