My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
