So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
