I hate your face
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
