..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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