how can u be prego again
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
