oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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