there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
