It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
