chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
