Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
