"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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