If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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