my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was CRYING into my vagina
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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