I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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