I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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