He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
