Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me

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(876): View more from Jamaica

you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class

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(631): View more from New York

You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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(816): View more from Missouri

Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

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(408): View more from California

I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?

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(728): View more from

and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'

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(213): View more from California

I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick

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