Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The power of my boobs compel you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
