i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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