Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
