i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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