Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
