I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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