***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
