while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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