Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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