Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
