man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
