Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
