Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
