we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
